Puppy Dog Tales
by ZahreSthr
Summary: "Naruto? Did you poopy in your pants?"  "No!", Being a ninja means having the word normal chucked out the window; being the parents of one Namikaze Naruto, the term has been tosed half way across the continent.  no kyuubi attack, MinaKush
1. Orange, Birthdays, and a Bath

Orange, Birthday, and a Bath

…

Grasping the rose and brightly wrapped box in his arms, Minato wriggled the key to his house out of his pocket and eased it into the lock. It was late, far later than he had expected to get home for his wife's birthday. He hoped she hadn't stayed up and waited. The lock clicked and the door swung near soundlessly open. A dim light was streaming down from the second floor and Minato winced. The door closed behind him as he took his shoes and coat off. The first step upward creaked as he placed his weight on it, causing him to wince again. He definitely was going to be in trouble this evening.

The sound of the bath tap running caused his hopes to plummet, figuring she had stayed up and waited. A door creaked above before a shriek pierced the silent night. "NARUTO! What have you done!"

A higher pitched squeal accompanied it as the nude culprit darted between the crack of the open door, fleeing down the stairs toward the startled Minato. The small body pelted toward him, and forgetting he was on the stairs, he took a step back and lost his balance. Both of them landed in a heap at the base of the stairs, though the smaller of the two began to pull Minato's shirt over himself in a vain attempt to hide from the wrathful creature stalking down the stairs.

"Hide me Daddy! Mommy's angwy." The child whispered loudly. Minato glanced from the mound under his shirt toward his wife, her eyes blazing.

"Naruto, explain yourself! Why are you and your entire room covered in orange paint." The last part was said slowly, calmly, in a send shivers of fear down your spine and fear for your life sort of way.

Minato looked down curiously, beginning to notice that he was slowly also becoming covered in the wet orange paint. The mound whispered hesitantly again, " 'm not here. Tell her I'm not here." A small smile began to form on his lips.

"Naruto, dear? I don't see him around. Are you sure he's here?" An idea began to make its way into his head; he winked up at his wife, who noticed the devious glint in his eye. He signed with his hands the basic idea. A frighteningly sly grin formed on her face.

"Well, he wasn't in his room and I'm pretty sure someone didn't just go in there and paint randomly. He's not hiding down here is he?"

"Tell her no daddy."

"No, he isn't."

"Oh, well. I guess I'll go upstairs and look again, why don't you help me, love."

"Sure. I'll be right up."

She walked up the stairs, hitching her hips slightly. His eyes followed, reminding him that he still had to celebrate her birthday a bit tonight. He disappeared up the stairs and the water switched off in the bath.

A small blonde and orange head peaked out from under his shirt. "She gone?"

"Yes, but I think you had better hide still. She might come back to check again." The head ducked back under and Minato slowly gathered himself up and sort of waddled up the stairs with his son under his shirt, giggling all the way. "Kushina, I'm going to wash up a bit."

"Sure, I'm going to also in just a sec."

Minato pushed the door to the washroom open with his foot and stepped inside. The tub was filled full of bubbles, steaming slightly with the heat. He closed the door swiftly and proceeded to dump his load into the bath. It shrieked and struggled.

"NO! No wanna baf!" Naruto succeeded in getting half way out before Minato shoved him back in. A moment later Minato slid forward on a puddle and landed with a splash in the bath also. His grip loosened on the struggling child and away he was, shrieking with mirth down the stairs. Kushina popped her head in, noticed her husband sopping wet and began to guffaw.

"It's not funny." He said with a frown.

"Oh yes it is." She retorted back, walking forward to help him out of the bath.

With a grin he reached forward to grasp her hand, and pulled her forward into the water also. She shrieked and slapped him on the head gently. He joined her in laughter.

Naruto, wondering what was so funny, carefully stuck his head in to see. "I wanna take a baf, too!" He shouted as he cannoned into the bath with his parents, splashing them with soapy water.

"Happy birthday, Kushina. I love you." Minato laughed, scrubbing orange paint off his son's body.

"Love you, too." She pecked him on the lips quickly before dumping a bucket of water over Naruto's sudsy hair.

"Mommy's old now!" Naruto giggled.

…

A bit later and slightly more dry, the couple stood in Naruto's doorway, watching their son sleep. He clutched his ratty orange puppy covered blanket to himself and sucked on his small thumb. Kushina sighed in content.

"You know, the orange isn't that bad." Minator whispered in her ear. She smiled in laughter.

"Maybe I'll paint the rest orange this week. He'd get a kick out of that."

"Yes he would. Speaking of getting a kick out of something, I got you a little present." He pulled the small brightly wrapped box from behind him and handed it over gently. Excitement crinkled in her green eyes as she pulled the paper off. She gasped in surprise and joy.

"I love it!" she whispered excitedly, motioning for him to put it on her. He pulled her hair away from her neck and clasped the necklace around it, kissing her sneakily as he did. The moonlight caught the silver glint of the pendant, a small silver cup of ramen, complete with chopsticks and bits of steam hung on a chain.

"I thought you would." He said as he kissed her, slowly moving her back to their bedroom.

"It will always remind me of Naruto and you. It's perfect."

"Just like you."

….

OMG who thought I could write fluff and actually enjoy it! I really wanted to dabble in a family fanfic, especially reading the latest manga chapters. My inspiration for the whole paint and nude child running around comes from stories that my mum would tell of me when I was a wee little child. I think I'll continue with this one for a while, at least till I become bored or school makes me too busy.

Please review, especially if you want to see more.


	2. Hyuugas and Embarrasment

Hyuuga's and Embarassment

…

"Here's a bag with lunches, snacks, juice, entertainment, some pull ups, and other useful things." Kushina said as she pushed a large cartooned kitten and puppy bag into her waiting husband's arms. "Naruto needs his nap around two or you will regret it. But don't ever say the 'N' word. Just put a blanket down and wait for him to crash out on it." She neatly folded a yellow blanket as small as it would go and stuffed it into the already bulging bag.

Minato nodded, tuning his wife out a bit. This bi-weekly ordeal was routine now, but she still mother hen-ed over everything. Kushina had agreed to teach at the academy on Tuesdays and Thursdays to give some of the other chuunin a rest and to keep her from going stir crazy taking care of the compact ball of energy that was there son. He caught her hands and held them close to his chest and looked down in her startled eyes. "I know, don't worry. I think I can handle our son for the day. You have fun torturing; I mean teaching, the brats at the academy." He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips, lingering a second longer than usual. The red head's body relaxed and kissed back. She pulled away and looked him in the eye.

"I know, but I want to make sure everything is okay." A brief thought flashed through her eyes. "Oh! I just remembered. Naruto's started a new thing with not wanting to go to the toilet. So if he wanders off, keep your eye on him or you'll have a mess to clean up." A grimace passed across her beautiful face from a recent memory.

"Oh, well, lovely. I'll keep that in mind." She pecked him once on the cheek before turning and blowing a raspberry into the yellow locks of her son. He giggled through a mouthful of oatmeal and blew one back, spewing the table before him with the sticky half eaten mush. Kushina had dodged before any of it landed on her and she had to go back up stairs and change. "I love you, behave for daddy today."

Naruto swallowed and beamed up toward his mother. "Lub you, too, mommy. I'll be a good boy." Then he took an overly large bite of oat meal for his mouth.

She walked out the door, throwing one last wave over her shoulder before hurrying away to her "eagerly" awaiting students.

Minato plopped himself down across from Naruto at the table and pulled his coffee and eggs toward him. "So, do you want to go to work with daddy this morning?"

A quick nod and squeal was his only confirmation as he finished his breakfast. "Well, let's get you cleaned up and get going. You can help me stamp some important papers today, then we can go to the park for a bit."

Naruto finished a last bit of oatmeal and hopped out of his booster seat and skipped up the stairs. Minato chugged down the remaining coffee and began rinsing the dishes off in the sink.

Upstairs he walked into the bathroom to find Naruto brushing his own teeth and having dressed himself. A muffled a chuckle as he saw the inside out and backwards orange shirt, yellow ducky sleeping bottoms, and mismatched green and white socks. Naruto spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth out. "I dressed my self daddy!" He proclaimed, waving toward the mess that was his outfit.

"I see Naruto, very good. But you don't want to wear PJ's to daddy's work do you?"

"But they has duckys."

"Yes I see that. Why don't we put some other shorts on so you don't make the ducky's dirty?"

"Okay!"

Minato followed his scampering son into his now orange room and helped pick out some black shorts and righted his orange shirt so the big spiral of the Uzumaki clan showed on his chest. "Okay, now we can go." He put his shoes on and donned his Hokage cloak before moving to place Naruto's shoes on his feet. He was pleasantly surprised to find that they were already. He grinned and gave a small high five to his gleeful son. The diaper bag was slung across his shoulder and Naruto hefted onto his hip before marching out into the sunny day.

Father and son walked briskly down the road to the towering red building, passing people who waved and greeted them. Minato and Naruto waved back when they could.

The arrived at the building and entered, saying hello to the receptionist. "Did you come today, Naruto?"

"I'm gonna help daddy stamp!" He announced.

"Well I have something that would help." She handed over a stack of papers which Minato fumbled as he held them under his arm. "Oh! And a coloring book for Naruto, too!" She handed this to Naruto who wriggled in excitement.

"What do you say to Umino-san?" Minato prompted

"Tank you!"

"They sure are cute at that age." The receptionist sighed.

"How is your son doing?" Minato asked, shifting the sliding Naruto higher on his hip.

"Just about to graduate from the academy. I'm so proud of him, but he's been picking up pranking from your wife I'm afraid." She mock frowned and Minato laughed uncomfortably.

"Well, she does teach them to be crafty and she said he's the quickest on to pick up on the idea." He inched his way swiftly into his office and closed the door before she could say any more.

"Want down daddy." Naruto demanded as he struggled. Minato complied and place him in a corner where he could watch him and be out of the way. Naruto promptly fished out the crayons in the diaper bag and began to scribble in the color for a pony, an orange and green pony.

"Daddy's going to work for a bit, so be good." Naruto nodded between switching from green to red.

…

"Hokage-sama, Hyuuga Hiashi to see you." The Umino said through the door.

"Let him in." Minato said, glancing around the room for his son who had been very quiet for the past few minutes. Before he could find him, a fuming Hyuuga stomped in.

"I refuse to allow the cage bird seal to be removed from the branch house. It is our tradition and none of the Hokage's or this villages concern what goes on within our clan."

"Hyuuga-san, this was not my ruling. The council voted for this, I merely suggested the idea and most of them agreed. You cannot refuse this ruling unless you wish to become a traitor to our village." Minato said slowly, as if trying to teach a difficult concept to his three year old son.

The Hyuuga before him began to turn an interesting shad of purple as his fury increased. But in that instant a soft grunt was heard from behind the only couch situated in the office. Both turned to look toward it in confusion. A foul odor began to permeate the office.

Both of them blinked and wrinkled their noses.

"Shit." Minato swore as he bolted toward where the incriminating smell emanated.

Naruto squat, face scrunched in concentration.

"Naruto? Did you poopy in your pants?" Minato asked exasperated.

"No." The child said stubbornly.

"Well I think you did. Come on let's go clean you up." Minato hefted his smelly child up, grimacing at the smell.

"No! I'm not dirty!" Small fists pounded on his back in defiance

He passed the Hyuuga on the way out of his office. Hiashi's face was pinched in an effort to control the laughter and disgust for his superior. A blush crossed Minato's face in embarrassment.

"Daddy? What does 'shit' mean?"

Minato fled to the bathroom, dragging the puppy and kitten diaper bag with him. His receptionist was already laughing at his predicament, and Minato knew the entire village would hear of his embarrassment by the end of the day.

…..

So what do you think? I know, kinda gross, but I have heard so many stories like this from friends and family that I had to do it. Let me know what you think, I'll continue posting with your support. Thanks!

-Zahre


	3. Grilled Cheese, New Friend, and Stories

Grilled Cheese, New Friend, and Stories

…..

A shriek of rage pierced the peaceful evening.

"Don't leave me! I wanna go too!" The toddler pounded his tiny fists on the back of his baby sitter, thrashing and screaming all the while.

Minato raised his voice over the racket from the doorway. "We'll be back around eleven. He's already had a bath; you just need to feed him, entertain him, and put him to bed. Good luck, Kakashi-kun."

Kakashi grunted in discomfort when a flailing fist struck eye. "Just have fun on your anniversary, sensei. This is the least I can do to celebrate."

"It was very kind of you to offer. Send a nin-dog if you have any trouble you can't handle."

"Minato, let's go! You're torturing me with listening to my baby wailing."

Minato looked over his shoulder at his awaiting wife. "Be there in a second. Have fun Kakashi."

He walked away and closed the door before Kakashi could protest. Kakashi looked down at the howling child with bewilderment, not knowing what to do. He hesitantly brought his hand up and rubbed small soothing circles on his back and "shhh"-ing like how he had seen Kushina do. This seemed to work, but only slightly. The howling morphed into pitiful moans and snot filled sniffs. Kakashi moved to place Naruto on the floor, but the boy just hung on closer, refusing to be put down. Slowly an idea formed in the mind of the jonin.

"Naruto, if I don't put you down, how are you going to meet one of my best friends?" With a heavy sniff, Naruto turned watery blue eyes up to meet his.

"A friend? What do you mean Kashi?"

"If you let me put you down, I'll show you."

Kakashi found that contemplation on a toddler's face was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. Not that he would ever willfully admit it though.

"So, what do you say? Do you want to meet him?"

"Yes! Put me down, Kashi. Who is your friend?"

"You'll see." Kakashi gently placed Naruto down on his feet. The boy wiped at his nose, streaking his blue shirt with snot. Excitement filled his innocent eyes.

Kakashi flashed through the hand seals and slapped the ground. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu."

"Yo."

"A puppy!"

….

Naruto and Pakkun wrestled on the living room floor, both yapping and snapping playfully. Some time had passed, when Kakashi realized that it was close to bed time and Naruto hadn't been fed yet.

"Naruto, do you want to eat dinner? How about a grilled cheese?" Kakashi levered himself up off the couch and pulled the two hooligans apart.

"Grilled cheese!" The boy trotted to the kitchen and sat at the table eagerly.

Kakashi followed him in, Pakkun at his heel. A paw patted him on his leg and Kakashi looked down questioningly.

"I believe I deserve a grilled cheese also." The pug said.

"Okay, grilled cheeses for everyone." Quickly the pan was heated and the sandwiches cooked to a gooey perfection.

Pakkun hopped up in a chair next to Naruto and waited for his own serving as Naruto's was plopped before him.

For a few blissful minutes, the kitchen was quite with content. Kakashi sighed inwardly, relaxing with how nice the evening was turning out.

"I'm done, let's go play Pakkun."

With the quickness of a jounin, Kakashi caught the whirlwind of energy. "No, Naruto. It's bed time."

"But I not sleepy!"

"But Pakkun is, he needs to go to sleep." Kakashi shot a look at his nin-dog.

Getting the hint, Pakkun yawned. "Come on pup. Let's get ready for bed. I bet Kakashi will tell us a story if we're good."

Kakashi glared at the pug but sighed in defeat. 

"Okay, I'll tell you a bed time story. But only if you get ready quickly."

"Yay! A Story!" The pattering of feet up the stairs was followed by the clicking of dog claws. Kakashi, feeling that Pakkun could take care of the basics, began to clean up the kitchen before heading up the stairs to join his dog and charge.

In Naruto's room, Pakkun was tugging on the kid's pants, playfully growling. Naruto giggled as they came off and sent Pakkun tumbling backwards. Kakashi scooped up the frog pajamas and slipped them over the small blonde's head then began tickling him. Pakkun, feeling left out came over and began licking Naruto's small feet, occasionally getting kicked in the face. Naruto shrieked in delight and tried wiggling away.

"Oh, no you don't you rascal." Kakashi picked him up and tossed him in the air, catching him when he came down again. Naruto continued to squeal in delight. "Again!"

Leave it to say, Kakashi learned to dreaded terror of that word about twenty minutes later and a stiff neck. "Again, Kashi, Again!"

"No Naruto, time for bed."

A hint of tears began to form at the corners of his eyes and the child began to sniff. "But…"

"No Buts, I thought you wanted a story."

Magic words, Naruto turned and pounced into his bed, and waited excitedly. "What story today?"

"How about how a ninja who saved a princess?"

"Okay, just no kissy kissy, yuck." The child had a disgusted look on his face.

"No kissy kissy." Kakashi chuckled and wondered how he'd feel in ten years.

"The story begins with a girl who left her country to come to another. She had lost all of her family and carried a great responsibility. So she came to a great nation where she was determined to be the best she can be."

…

"…And he saved her from the kidnappers and they became best friends." Kakashi concluded. Naruto yawned sleepily, fighting to keep his eyes open.

" 'nother one Kashi." He slurred. " 'm not sleepy yet."

"That's all for tonight. Next time I'll tell you about how a great man saved his friends from death." Kakashi shifted the child off his lap and began to stand up.

The blue eyes snapped open. "NO! 'nother one!" Sighing Kakashi sat down to start another story.

…

"Kakashi?" Minato and Kushina walked quietly into the house, aware they were three hours late.

"Maybe he fell asleep?" Kushina began walking up the stairs to check on Naruto, Minato followed closely. She nudged the door to her son's room open and glanced in. She smiled in silent laughter. "They fell asleep together. They must have had an exciting evening."

Kakashi was sprawled on Naruto's small bed with the blond curled against his chest and Pakkun curled up at his feet.

"Let's leave them for the night, Minato. Minato?" Kushina glanced around for her disappeared husband.

"Just getting the camera for some blackmail."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"You were enjoying the cute moment."

_Snap Flash Snap_

….

Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? Questions? Well, is your head about to explode with the cute? I had wanted to end with Naruto pulling Kakashi's mask down, but for some reason this just flowed out like some rabid beast out for blood. Eh, the again stuff came from my own experience with getting swung by my parents eons ago. Till next time

-Zahre

PS, Keep at me with your reviews or I might get distracted with reading other fanfics again. Anyone know the stories I put in? Take a guess, but think about it first.


	4. Monsters

Monsters

…..

Poke

Poke

Poke, poke

Kushina jerked awake. She rubbed her eyes and stared blearily into night, wondering what had woken her up.

Poke. "Mummy?" a voice quietly whispered out of the darkness, terror laced through the simple word.

"Naruto? What are you doing up?" She asked as she hauled her son up to sit with her on the bed. Dear, he was starting to actually get heavy, she thought dozily.

The usually bright and sunny boy clung as close as he could to his mother, shaking in absolute panic. Alarm bells started to ring in her head and she began to gently nudge her husband awake.

"Naruto? What's the matter? Honey, tell me what's wrong? Did someone try to hurt you?" She tried to sense any danger around her, but the rest of the world remained calm.

Naruto mumbled something into her chest, and even with her amazing mother deciphering powers, she couldn't make it out. "Naruto? Tell me."

"Kushina? Naruto? What happened?" Her husband, awake and ready to rip anyone's head off if need be.

"Monsters." Both parents guards went up.

"Naruto, what kind of monsters? Where?" Minato gently asked.

More unrecognizable muttering, Kushina drew her son's face toward her own and held his chin firmly. "Naruto, what monsters?"

The whispered reply was so quiet that both parents almost missed it. "In the closet."

Minato's eyebrow rose slowly as his wife turned to stare at them, the corner of her lip beginning to twitch. Both of them relaxed, realizing no foreign nin was trying to kill or abduct their child.

"Naruto, could you show us these big scary monsters in the closet?" Kushina asked, turning her attention back to her son.

A small nod. She gently got out of bed and he clung to her shaking. Minato followed closely behind.

The door to Naruto's orange room creaked open ominously, not helping soothe the child any more. Kushina rolled her eyes.

Her son pointed toward the closet without looking. "In there. I heard something." His voice was soft and barely audible. Kushina stood a little away, Naruto's head buried in her chest, as Minato opened the closet door. The small family all held their breath in anticipation. Several stuffed animals fell out with a slight squeak.

"Well that was anitclimatic. What noises were you hearing Naruto?" Minato asked as he began poking through the closet and stuffing the toys back in a safe spot on the top shelf. Kushina felt her son begin to relax as her husband continued to poke around. "Well I don't think there are any monsters in here anymore-What the-!" A black shadow had launched itself upon his head with a yowl and glowing yellow eyes of fury.

"Kushina! Help! There's a monster attacking me!" the flurry of claws, hands, black and blonde hair continued for a minute longer before with a final yowl the creature leaped away toward the small toddler bed decorated with frog sheets.

Kushina though was trying to keep her own ball of terror under control as her son began to wail and wrestle out of her grip toward the door and supposed safety. "Mommy! Monsters!"

"Shhh Shhh, Naru, honey, it's not monsters. Look."

As one the three of them turned and looked at the attacker, now sitting and washing itself with aloofness. "See, it's a kitty."

"How in the world did a cat get in here?" Minato questioned while he wiped at one of the scratches left from his short battle. The perpetrator gave a sidelong look out of its yellow eyes at him.

"Kitty!" Naruto dropped from her arms and began to scramble forward, all fear now forgotten. Too late Kushina lunged forward to grab her errant son who already had the thing held within his arms, nearly strangling it in his hug of joy. Both parents held their breath. "meeeorw" the cat said in resignation.

From within the closet mewling could be heard, which pulled the cat's attention away from the torture it was enduring patiently. It wriggled free gently and scurried back to the closet. "Aw, I liked the kitty." Naruto said as he wandered back to his parents. Kushina this time decided to be the one who rummaged through the closet. As she pushed some hung clothes aside and looked into a basket of laundry she found the cat curled up around three small kittens.

"Oh my, you silly cat." The mother cat looked up with contentedness and purred. "I guess we'll find a better placed for you in the morning."

"What! You can't be serious, that cat is pure evil. We are not keeping it." Minato spoke up with defiance. His wife shot him a glare that could have rivaled the cat's. "On second thought…"

"Well that's that now, let's go back to bed. Come on sweetie, you can sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed tonight. See no monsters, just a momma cat protecting her kittens." She leaned down and hauled her son into her arms and began to walk back to her room.

"Can we keep them? I want to name one Naruto! I promise to take of of them…" His voice grew softer as mother and child wandered away, leaving Minato in the room with the new family of cats.

"I'm watching you cat." The cat shot a look at him that seemed to say almost the same thing. "But I can't say no to my love."

"Mrrow"

...

So I actually had the motivation/boredom today to finish a chapter. This one actually flowed really well and knocked a few hours off my block between classes. The sucky thing about starting a new semester is that the first week you still have those big slots of time between classes that i usually use to study or work on my research, but none of my books have come in and i dont have homework yet (well actually i do but i need the books to do the physics stuff) so now im taking the time to post this. eh hope you enjoyed it.

zahresthr


End file.
